Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:13–14 (NLT)
We are entering that time of year when extended family gets together, and it is rare that everyone agrees on everything. In some situations, topics of disagreement are avoided, but inevitably, in some gatherings, somebody will push buttons.
In some cases, the conversation will center around sports rivalries. We know that some people take their sports seriously, but the real action usually involves politics and religion. Politically, our country is still close to 50/50, so we are not surprised that some people are upset, while others are happy (perhaps just relieved).
Paul tells us that we must, “make allowance for each other’s faults.” Other translations say that we must “bear with each other.” This means to carry, or support a burden, either physically or metaphorically. As Christ-followers, we should know that there are some things more important than proving our point.
Our text goes on to say that we must “forgive anyone who offends you.” Paul doesn’t leave it there, he adds: “Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Ouch, if this were football, would Paul receive a penalty for “piling on?” Did he just play the trump card? (Pun intended.)
As ambassadors for Christ, we have a mission. We must not let our desire to justify ourselves and our positions be at the cost of closing the door on the opportunity to let our light shine for Jesus. We must keep our eyes on the greater objective.
Bridges or Walls?
It is easier to conquer a strong city than to win back a friend whom you’ve offended. Their walls go up, making it nearly impossible to win them back. Proverbs 18:19 (TPT)
It is never wise to win a battle, at the cost of losing the war. We must reject the impulse to always justify ourselves. We know that Christ has given us the ministry of reconciliation. We have a great commission to preach the gospel and make disciples.
In Luke 10, an expert in the law tried to test Jesus, asking “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Of course, Jesus turned it around and asked him, “What is written in the law?” The lawyer answered correctly quoting Deuteronomy and Leviticus. He answered well, but then as lawyers, and probably most of the rest of us, he wanted to find a loophole: But wanting to justify himself, he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” Luke 10:29 (CSB)
Like the young legal expert, we know what God wants from us. We know about turning the other cheek, and walking the extra mile, but that does not always make it easy. How can we avoid the temptation to always justify ourselves?
Our proverb indicates that when walls go up, it makes it nearly impossible to win them back. This does not mean that we compromise the truth, or do anything to deny our Savior, but often the offense comes over petty, ultimately irrelevant issues. Sports and politicians will come and go, but we should have our eyes on eternity.
Sweet Fragrance, or Offensive Stench?
Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing. To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved, we are a life-giving perfume. 2 Corinthians 2:15–16 (NLT)
We have heard the expression, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” There is always more than one way to see or smell something. It is naïve to think that we can live godly lives, and that it will be automatically attractive to everyone. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 (NLT)
There is a tremendous difference between being rejected by the world because we are obnoxious, rude, and self-righteous, and living as a “Christ-like fragrance.” We have seen people claim to be persecuted for being a Christian, when in reality they are opposed because they are not likable.
How can we know if our life is a sweet aroma, or an offensive stench? It is actually quite easy. If everyone, Christ-followers, as well as those far from God, agree that we have the smell of death and doom, it means something is wrong with us.
But if those in the family of God perceive that we are a life-giving perfume, and yet the world rejects us, we can take that as a sign of God’s approval. Don’t take anything for granted. Just as a few days without a shower or bath produces an unpleasant odor, a neglect of spiritual hygiene will soon be noticeable.
Be on the Offensive, but Don’t Be Offensive
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. Psalm 139:23–24 (CSB)
If we are offensive, let it be for the right reasons. The Christian faith is offensive in both senses of the word. We know that the imperative word of the Great Commission is “Go.” The church of Jesus Christ is on the march, and “the gates of hell will not prevail against it.” Gates are defensive in nature, and we have a mandate to assault the gates of the enemy.
However, we cannot fulfill our ministry if we are offensive. If we cause people to build up walls of resistance instead of bridges, we will not find success. The message of the cross can be divisive: For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but it is the power of God to us who are being saved. 1 Corinthians 1:18 (CSB)
As we gather with family and friends, I pray that we will be on the offensive, but not be offensive.
Steve Ekeroth