Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:12–14 (NLT)
Am I my brother’s keeper? Ever since Cain posed the question to God, humanity has wrestled with the inclination to avoid responsibility for one another. How can we effectively care for each other? We can begin with Paul’s statement that God has chosen us to be the holy people he loves. God’s plan must be the motivation for everything that we do and speak.
Paul spoke of new clothes for us to wear and the need to forgive each other’s faults because Christ forgave our faults. He goes on to write of the importance of love and how it binds us all together in perfect harmony. We will fail to see our responsibilities until we are aligned and clothed correctly.
Take Off Our Dirty, Smelly Clothes
Jesus gave us a new dress code. Because we are in this world, exposure to the pollution around us is inevitable. How will we be affected by the foul dirt and smell around us? Will we escape?
But you know better now, so make sure it’s all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk. Don’t lie to one another. You’re done with that old life. It’s like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you’ve stripped off and put in the fire. Colossians 3:8-9 (The Message)
Dirt and grime accumulate gradually, and as a result, we become accustomed to it. And if we spend time around others engaged in the same activities, we may not notice anything wrong. However, we cannot be effective witnesses, and it is impossible to come near Christ unless we rid ourselves of these dirty and smelly clothes.
Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Ephesians 4:21–22 (NLT)
Put on New Clothes
It is not enough to rid ourselves of our smelly and dirty clothes. We must put clean clothes on instead. Jesus urged the Laodiceans to buy from him white garments so that they would not be ashamed of their exposed nakedness.
Before coming to Christ, we wore all of the filthy garments that the world has to offer. We must now put new things, such as new attitudes, a new way of looking at life, a new vocabulary, and new recreational activities, but most of all, we are to be clothed with the life of Christ.
Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires. Romans 13:14 (NLT)
When we get cleaned up and put on new clothes, things change. Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing. 2 Corinthians 2:15 (NLT). When God cleans us up, people will allow us to get close enough to them to make a difference.
Make Allowances For Each Other
Paul urges us to make allowances for each other’s faults. To live as Christ-followers who do not get thrown off course whenever someone slips up, we must learn to make allowances for each other. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2 (NLT)
That same passage out of The Message speaks to the consistency and the urgency of making allowances for each other.
And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. Ephesians 4:2-3 (The Message)
We should be looking for ways to help one another overcome their difficulties.
Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. Galatians 6:1-2 (NLT)
Remember that when we help someone else who is struggling, it is entirely possible that in the future, we may need their help. But above all, we are commanded to make allowances for one another for Christ’s sake.
But, They Hurt Me
Most Christ-followers would agree on the value of making allowances for each other, but only to a point. Then, we begin to think about exceptions, such as when someone goes beyond our allowance or tolerance boundaries.
You know that you should forgive them because God commands you to forgive them. But when the subject comes up, you respond, “I know I should forgive them”, but we rationalize because they hurt us. Something that was said or not said wounded us deeply.
Perhaps they broke a promise, or they did not acknowledge your efforts. Maybe they forgot your birthday. The list could be endless. Experience shows us that a failure or inability to communicate appropriately is responsible for most problems in any relationship: a marriage, a friendship, or a church.
When you are grieved or wounded, there is recourse for you, according to Scripture. “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” Matthew 18:15 (NLT). Remember that we are to forgive because Christ forgave us.
I Am My Brother’s Keeper
If you started with any doubts, I hope you now see that we are our brothers’ (and sisters’) keepers. We have a responsibility to one another to encourage, to build up, to correct, if necessary, and always to have a forgiving heart and spirit.
If we are going to support one another, we cannot let anything come between us that we do not make every effort to resolve and heal. To be in the world and yet not of it, we need each other’s help. We need to care and look out for one another.
Steve Ekeroth